We didn’t put up the Christmas tree last year. It usually goes up the weekend of birthday which is always around Thanksgiving. But last year, most of the family was in Portland for Thanksgiving and it was also the first Thanksgiving without my eldest brother. When we got back home, it just wasn’t there for me to put it up.
This morning was the first time I thought about putting up the tree. Most of the family met in Phoenix to celebrate my brother’s life on the first anniversary of his passing. One of his daughters is quite the entrepreneur and we were discussing business and me branching into POD and she suggested I do ornaments. I have a shop on Etsy for POD that I haven’t done much with and I decided to bring it back and ornaments fit the new direction and so here we are. I designed an ornament around the brand and even when designing it I didn’t think of the tree. It was this morning when one thought leads to another and I realized it is August but I’m getting ready for October – December and November is smack in the middle of that and then Thanksgiving and then family and then the tree.
The circle of life.
I am sure I will put the tree this year. I will decide on a theme for the decorations. (Angels, Santa, crystal, free for all.) I usually have a few friends over to help decorate but I think it might be expanded a little. We have a small apartment and can only hold about 10 people before it gets hard to breathe but I can think of something.
I realize I am still grieving. I realize I have some regrets about my relationship with my brother. There are things I can do to move through them both. I can feel the feels and I have another brother and two sisters to relate to in a regret free way. I can get there because it’s the circle of life. There’s always a way back.
The new shop is StitchPrayRepeat.